Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
lets start a swedish sibling band together
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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