I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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