I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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