I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
