I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Randomize
