if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
