From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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