Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Randomize