Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
