dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Let's get the cat blown out
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
