I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
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