So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
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i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
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