And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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