A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Randomize
