she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
