I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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