doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
