Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
