U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
I think I just sharted jello shots
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