Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
