is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Green mimosas i think yes
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
