You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
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