Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Randomize
