DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
