I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Randomize
