I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
This house was built for laser tag.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Randomize
