just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Randomize
