if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
