A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
operation harelip BJ is a go
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Randomize