just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I think people are normalizing furries
Randomize
