When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
