you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Randomize
