just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Randomize