I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
