I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
