Buhtt sex?
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
