But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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