do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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