I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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