I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
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