I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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