I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Randomize
