the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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