It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
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