the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
