I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
You know, be my cock's hype man.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Randomize
