I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
I stole a fireplace last night.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
