help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Randomize
