I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Randomize
