More tranny stories later!
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
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