I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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