apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
