people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
