I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Randomize
