Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
