I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
I was not drunk enough for that final.
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