I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
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There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
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