You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
