i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
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